Caland

When I was young I was a ghost. I was a cloud of smoke. The words they used to spill out of me and now I feel so blah. 

And when I went to the Hammer I loved how brave I felt looking at Caland. I realized that I’ve always been too stifled and now I cage myself. 

I don’t like being censored but we have to protect the others and I wish that we were all free but I know we’re all hurting 

And the thing I hated in you the most was how you were so dismissive and now he looks at me with surprise and I don’t recognize myself speaking.

It’s you out of my mouth.

You’re gone, but I can’t get rid of you.

The light that fell into my eyes, the color consumed me. 

The humming made me better against that unwavering voice. 

It’s been a long time now so maybe we’re happy. There’s enough time between the song between the space so maybe we’ve forgotten.

You say you never remember and I try and not let that hurt me

But really it shouldn’t matter as long as you recognize me.